5 Where did you hear that?
Many times over the years, I heard students repeating something they heard. Who knows where they
heard it, but nine times out of ten.. they've repeated something their parents said.
Homework excuses were always fun. Ones like, "my dog ate it" or "my Dad thought it was garbage
and threw it away" or "I spilled my juice on it". The best one was "my dog sh*t on my spelling
book". Heather was in grade four and said her new puppy had messed on her Speller when she was
working on the floor. She handed me her Speller and I threw it in the garbage. I asked her why she
didn't throw it out. To which she said as her Mom came through the classroom door, "my mom didn't
think you would believe me." The Mom said, "look on page 41". I told them "no thanks, here's a new
book and you have an extra day to finish your work". Some evidence you don't want to see, just trust.
My colleague was working with Kindergarten students. She bent over to get dry paint out to mix up for
her Art class. Someone all of a sudden slapped her ass and grabbed at the same time. She turned
around and saw this little 5 year old boy smiling at her. She said, "did you just smack and grab my
bum?" He said, "yes, why didn't you like it, my Mom always likes it when dad does it to her."
As nicely as she could, she explained he can't touch girls like that unless he is invited and that he would
never be invited to touch her like that again. "Okay", he said "I guess you didn't like it."
I was teaching a grade one class. The students were sitting in front of me on the floor for story time.
Similarly, a boy in front of me started to rub his hands up and down my legs over my nylons.
I looked down and said "what are you doing?" To which he said, "My Dad does that to my Mom's legs
and she always says it feels good, so I wanted to try it." Oh my God, What are the Dads' teaching them.
I remember a girl, Lana, in grade two. She told me she didn't know how to do her homework, so it
wasn't done. I said , well why didn't you ask your Mom for help. Lana said, "Mom said never to bother
her when she was laying down in the bedroom." So I pressed on, "well why didn't you ask your Dad?"
With her innocent face, she replied " my Dad said when he and Mom were in their bedroom with the
door closed, that I better not bother them for anything". I showed her how to do her work and smiled.
I'll never forget a grade two boy named Dana, big blue eyes, lots of blond curls and such a big smile. I
had a really big headache and was grouchy when I came in from playground supervision on this cold
and snowy day. As I walked into my classroom, taking off my outside coat and boots, I said to my
students "you guys need to be busy and very quiet for a while because I don't feel well. I don't want
anyone to bother me." I sat at my desk , resting my elbows on the desk with my hands over my eyes..
Next thing I knew I was being embraced with a very warm hug and a little voice saying "everything
will be all right." I slowly turned my head to see who was trusting enough to bother me. Here was
little Dana, smiling and he said, "when my Mom feels bad, I give her a big hug and she says she always
feels better so I thought you needed one, too." It melted my heart. He really meant it and how could I
possibly say it didn't help. I laughed and said it was exactly what I needed.
Another little boy was sleeping in class. I asked why he was so tired. Sadly, he said " Mom said dad
can sleep on the couch and get his drunk ass up by 6 am for work without her, so I have been getting
Dad awake and giving him cereal." I phoned the Mom to say I was worried about him sleeping in class.
The next day the boy thanked me. "I don't know what you said, but mom let him in the bedroom and
got him breakfast and I got to sleep in. Wow, who knew I could do magic, LOL.
So just like some people will say "Boys will be boys". I always had to deal with burping and farting
by students. I would say "If you make that noise loud enough for the class to hear, then you should
apologize just as loud." So one boy did as he was told one day. He let out a big ripper. The kids were
saying things like "eeuwh, yuck, smelly, you pig, you stink and so on." He yelled out, " Don't worry
the farts you in our family don't stink, my Dad says it's the quiet ones you don't hear that you have to
worry about". Utter laughter and chaos ensued. Now there's a lesson in classroom management.
So much fun, so many memories. Be careful what you say as the teachers will be hearing it next.
Faith Always !!
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